Before You Depart:
Preparing For The Unexpected

We just learned about the devastating murder-suicide in the Berkeley hills involving Kevin Morrissey, 51; his wife, Dr. Mamiko Kawai, 40; and their children, Nikki Morrissey, 8, and Kim “Elena” Morrissey, 6. Police in the Berkeley Hills reported that the family of four was found dead in a parking lot in Tilden Park. Tilden is a beautiful park in the Berkeley Hills and a major destination for families across the Bay Area, so it is sad and ironic that such an event happened there. Our hearts go out to the victims and their loved ones, and may they rest in peace.

Such a tragedy is unthinkable, and we were absolutely shocked and appalled by this news. The family seemed happy according to their neighbors, and suspected murderer Kevin Morrissey had even just spent two weeks preparing for his daughter Nikki’s recent birthday. It is incomprehensible how a family man could decide to end the lives of his young daughters, his wife and himself. Just how he ever decided to commit these acts I doubt will ever be truly understood.

Taking ones own life is tragic, but taking innocent souls along is simply evil. The police said they found a note where Kevin did “express remorse” but I cannot possibly see how someone capable of killing his family could feel remorse at all. Perhaps he was mentally ill and out of control, but the bottom line is that a family was tragically destroyed by one of its own.

Take a moment to prey for the Morrissey family and then think about how dear your family is to you.

It’s June, the traditional month of weddings.  These days, more and more couples are waiting until they are in their thirties or even beyond to tie the knot.  When people who have already accumulated personal assets decide to marry, how those assets are dealt with is, or should be, a major concern for both spouses.

Pre-marital agreements are not only for celebrities and the super-rich these days.  When both spouses bring money, property,  possessions, and possibly children into a relationship, it’s essential that both spouses agree on how these things will be handled, and who gets what (or even whom)  if there is a split or a death.

Get it all down in writing, LEGALLY, and make sure an attorney is involved!  Word-of-mouth will not hold up in court; besides which, word-of-mouth is often forgotten or, at best, misinterpreted.

If you want your assets to go where and to whom you WANT them to go, have a lawyer draw it up and file it, and be sure both spouses know exactly where to find each other’s legalities.

In movies, these estate disputes are usually solved fairly and equitably, but in real life, it’s not always so, UNLESS you have made it legally crystal clear.

Anna Nicole Smith did not end up with much of her husband’s estate because he did did not change his will when he married her.  Be sure you are more legally cautious than he was.

Then again, he married Anna Nicole Smith; how cautious was he expected to be?

Make sure YOU do better.  Get it all down in writing, and have a lawyer oversee it.  Make sure both you AND your spouse know exactly where your documents are, and what is in them.

“No surprises” is a good thing, when it comes to estate planning.

Marshall Loeb, of MarketWatch, has some excellent advice for same-sex couples concerning wills, estate planning, power of attorney, etc, and why good planning is even more important for same-sex couples than for straight spouses. Attorney Tanya Harvey, on Loeb’s website, says that:

“. . . estate planning is even more imperative for same-sex couples than for straight spouses because. . . gay couples don’t have the tax and inheritance advantages that marriage conveys, so these benefits have to be created through estate-planning documents.”

“Harvey, a Washington lawyer with the firm Bryan Cave, helps unmarried couples ensure that their partners and families will be provided for in the event of illness or death. When it comes to estate planning, Harvey recommends that gay families start by consulting a lawyer on three key issues:

1.  Power of attorney. Assigning your partner a power of attorney for health care is relatively simple, says Harvey, but it can save you major migraines in the long run. Most hospitals allow only family members related by blood or marriage to visit patients in critical care. If your companion has a power of attorney, it guarantees admittance. It also gives him or her a voice when decisions have to be made about your care.

2. The pros and cons of domestic partnership. Many couples living in states that recognize domestic partners are eager to sign up, but Harvey cautions her clients to consider the potential pitfalls. While domestic partnerships often convey a variety of inheritance, employment and tax benefits, they are difficult to dissolve in some states. Disentangling yourself from a domestic partnership is often as complicated and expensive as traditional divorce, says Harvey, so don’t treat it lightly.

3.  What happens to your legacy? It is essential that each partner has a valid, up-to-date, signed and witnessed will. If you die without a will providing for your same-sex mate, the state determines what will happen to your money and property. “Generally, the surviving partner gets nothing,” says Harvey. Consult a lawyer to draw up a will or a trust. Harvey highly recommends revocable trusts, because they offer privacy and are harder to challenge in court.

For further information on same-sex estate planning, visit Outestateplanning.com or Rainbowlaw.com.”

It is imperative that ALL couples get all of their documents in order, and that the surviving partner/spouse know where these documents are kept.  Thee surviving partner/spouse must have access to everything, right at his/her fingertips, for this will save a lot of headache and heartache and aggravation for all concerned.

Are you one of the many Baby Boomers who has something a little, shall we say, “different,” in mind for your final resting place?

Since 1997, many people, mostly Boomers, have chosen “Celestial Burials;” and yes, that’s pretty much exactly what it sounds like. People are choosing to have their ashes blasted off into outer space.

Not ALL of their ashes, mind you: just a little symbolic bit, encased in a small capsule. No actual bodies. The ashes are blasted into space, and then brought back down and returned to the families, so it can truly be said that this person was a space traveler.

James Doohan did it. So did Gordon Cooper. If you think you’d be interested, go HERE. And then make sure your request is stored here on YouDeparted, so your survivors will know what you want.

In fact, there has never been a better time to check out YouDeparted: we’ve got a special rate right now and you’ll never find a better deal. For only $9.95, you can get a year’s subscription, and I’m telling you, it’s incredible. I’ve got one. I think you should get one, too.

Who will be in control of your money until some of your beneficiaries become of age? Be sure you specify, or the State will do it. Be sure you name someone who is capable of managing your money, too.

Who will get the antique music box that’s been in the family for generations and that everyone, even the shirttail relatives, would love to have? Name a specific beneficiary and be sure you file it in a safe place.

Most people have paper copies of their will, and we hope these are filed in a safe place. These days, more and more people are filing all of their important papers electronically, and for that we recommend YouDeparted. Our security is unparalleled, and our encryption can not be broken. Your very personal files are safe with us.

Of course, some people prefer to be a little unconventional. That’s fine, too. So go ahead, video-tape your will; you can store a film with us, too.

Now, who’s up for some fish sticks? Take it away, Orson.

If you have a child in the military, or if you have a parent in the military, it is essential that both of you have your affairs in order before you are sent overseas or even to a military base far from your home.

If you are overseas, and a family member should die, it will be much easier if all of your important papers were filed in the same place.  YouDeparted, for example.

By that same token, if you should die, it would be much easier for your parents to take care of your affairs if all of your important papers were filed in the same place.  YouDeparted, for example.

Heaven forbid that anything should happen to anyone, overseas or at home.  But isn’t it just logical, and considerate, for us all to put all of our essential paperwork in one place, to make things a little easier for our executor and survivors?  Trying to put someone’s financial details together from scratch is hard enough if we are right there.  Trying to do this if either party is far from home, especially in a foreign country, is almost unthinkable.

Try to think about it, however.  Don’t make things even harder on the people you love; store all of your important papers, passwords, policies, etc, right here on YouDeparted.

Your survivors will appreciate your thoughtfulness.  Plus, you’ll get your own way in the end.

When you are creating your estate plan, don’t forget Fido and Fluffy, and Mr. Ed.  You cared for them in life, and after your death they will still need care.  They meant a lot to you, so you want to be sure their new caretaker will do a good job.

That’s why you need to include your pets in your estate plan.

Include all the information the new caretaker will need: the name of their veterinarian, any medications the animals might be taking, personality quirks, fears, idiosyncracies, etc.  Your dogs and cats are only human, you know.

Make sure you are very specific about all of this information, and make sure you file it with all of your other important papers.

Might I suggest filing everything right here at YouDeparted?

Cremation is becoming a more popular “last rite” every day. Traditional burial is still what many people choose. If you are of a nontraditional bent, but are not convinced that cremation is what you want, there are other alternatives.

You could always be mummified.

Honestly, people are doing it! Look right HERE!

This could be you.

Okay, I’ll be serious now. Different people have different requests and plans for that inevitable finality. Whatever decisions you make, please make sure that you have put them all down in writing, and that these documents are filed in a safe, inviolable place.

I recommend right here at YouDeparted. Everything you will file here is safer than if it were in a safe in your home. Our encryption is complete and foolproof. Your will, your insurance records, your requests and bequests and a description of the outfit you’ll wear in your coffin (or urn, or mummy-casket) and any other order or requirement, etc, that you may have. . . everything you store with YouDeparted is safe. Absolutely, completely safe.

Do you really want your survivors to spend $25,000 on your casket? I’m serious; some caskets cost even more than that!

For that matter, do you want your family spending $10,000? $5,000? For a box that’s going to be buried six feet underground and, hopefully, never seen again? Ever?

Some people want a fancy casket. That’s why they exist. Other people would prefer that their money go for something that would be more useful to the living. That’s why there are also inexpensive caskets.

Some funeral homes will try to tell you that it’s illegal to use anything but an expensive casket sold by them, but that is absolutely untrue. Federal law allows the consumer to use any kind of casket he/she wishes. You can even make your own casket. The funeral home has no right to try to force you to purchase a casket from them, or to choose an expensive model over a more economical one. They’ll try, but don’t you let them talk you into anything you don’t really want.

Morticians will still try to persuade you to buy an expensive casket, but that’s because they make a great deal of their money from the casket companies. The markup on a casket is unbelievable; a sealing gasket that costs eight dollars will raise the price of a casket up to $800.00!

My point here is that you need to make your wishes known to your family before you die, so your hard-earned money is either spent on a casket fit for a king, or so that same hard-earned money is spent more wisely. After all, who’s going to care about a casket? Besides the funeral parlor people, that is. . . .

Whether you want to splurge to the very end, or send the grandchildren to college with that same money, you need to write your wishes down and put them somewhere safe, somewhere like YouDeparted, for example.

And then you need to make sure you’ve told somebody where all your ’stuff’ is being kept. When it comes right down to it, you don’t really want your loved ones to have to choose your casket, anyway. It’s traumatic! Why not do it yourself and take one more burden off your survivors’ shoulders?

One of the daily tasks of a modern entrepreneur is to search the web for references to your product.  It is very interesting and informative to see what new results pop up for “youdeparted” every day on google and google blog search.  Keeping in touch with and becoming a big part of the web community in your topic area is an essential part of business communications.  When I find an article regarding disaster preparation on a site such as lifehacker, I join in the discussion and add a comment regarding the importance of getting everything organized and securely stored.

Today, I was a bit surprised to find an article written by an Italian publication about the YouDeparted service! We haven’t marketed beyond the United States, but it goes to show that our service is valuable to people everywhere.  I can’t tell you exactly what the article said, but using an online translator, I got the gist and it was very positive! Thanks Italy!